Audition Dates: Monday, November 10 and Tuesday, November 11, 2025
The registration table opens at 6:30 p.m. Auditions begin at 7:00 p.m.

Performances: January 9-11, 16-18, & 23-25, 2026
Fridays and Saturdays at 8:00 p.m., Sundays at 2:30 p.m.

Auditions will be held at the Players Guild of Dearborn: 21730 Madison, Dearborn, MI 48124.
You must complete the audition form and conflict calendar found at www.playersguildofdearborn.org before arriving. Please list all actual and possible conflicts.
Click here for Audition Material!

Director
Brian Townsend

Assistant Directors
Mike Moseley & David Culliton

About the Show
Picture it: Paris, France, 1904. The start of a new century … and Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso walk into a bar, just before one transforms physics with his theory of relativity and the other sets the art world afire with Cubism. With infectious dizziness, Steve Martin’s comedy plays fast and loose with fact, fame, and fortune as these two geniuses muse on the new century’s achievements and prospects. Weaving in and out, with their own ideas and theories, are the bartender and his mistress, a flashy art dealer, Picasso’s most recent amorous conquest, a cantankerous philosopher, and a dimwitted inventor. Throw in a visit by a hip-swiveling messenger from the future, and you have a night full of creativity, inspiration, and hilarity.

From the Director
Steve Martin’s comedy is hilarious, absurd and thought-provoking. You can see the impact of his stand-up years, his movie writing, his Only Murders in the Building sophistication — as well as nods to other comedic forces — in how he shares this imaginary meeting of the minds. Every person who steps into the Lapin Agile is integral to the story and has an impact in some way. Come with an open mind and a willingness to play!

The rehearsal period for this show falls during many major holidays. Please be honest and thorough about your conflicts when filling out the conflict calendar. A rehearsal schedule will be created after the show is cast.

Audition cuts are available on this website. Those interested in reading the full script (PDF) may send a request to brian.townsend@thepgd.org

Character Descriptions

Ages listed are the playing ages of the characters, not necessarily those of the actors. Accents are possible for Einstein, Picasso and The Visitor only. All other characters are French but DO NOT require a French accent!

Freddy: (30s/40s) The owner and bartender of the Lapin Agile. Although he seems kind of simple, he occasionally stumbles upon something brilliant. He’d like to do that more often. He occasionally breaks the fourth wall and should be comfortable handling the audience.

Gaston: (60s and up) An abrupt and direct older patron of the bar. Earthy. In his musings, he approaches philosophy but usually devolves to sex.

Germaine: (mid-30s) The waitress of the Lapin Agile and Freddy’s girlfriend. Thoughtful, strong willed, in control. She’s forward thinking and understands her strength as a woman — she has ideas about what the new century should be like.

Albert Einstein: (mid-20s) A genius — a scientist with big aspirations. Intelligent but with a sense of humor. He sees things differently than the others, and often has to explain why or how he does.
If possible, the actor playing Einstein may use a light German accent.

Suzanne: (early 20s) Street smart and charming. More than a few hearts have been broken by her. She has had a brief relationship with Picasso — and the thrill of being the focus of an artist — and has decided she wants more.
NOTE: Suzanne makes a costume change on stage. The director will work with the actor to ensure a proper level of comfort and discretion.

Sagot: (40s/50s) Picasso’s art dealer. He believes he knows what works and what doesn’t in the art world. Always has an eye out for the next big thing. Vibrant, energetic, a bit flamboyant.

Pablo Picasso: (early–mid 20s) Another genius — and he knows it. At times moody and brooding, at times charismatic. A serial womanizer. He’s on the verge of something new, something original, but for now it’s just out of reach.
If possible, the actor playing Picasso may use a light Spanish accent.

Charles Dabernow Schmendiman: (mid-20s and up) Not another genius. A young inventor with big ideas and little brains. Energetic, enthusiastic, and perhaps a touch delusional.

The Countess: (30s and up): A lovely, intelligent, well-to-do woman. She’s intrigued by and attracted to Einstein (and he with her) — she can speak his language on many levels. The actor who plays The Countess will also play a Female Admirer — an avid, slightly obsessed fan in search of her idol.
NOTE: The Countess and Admirer appear later in the show. They both make a great impression but will not have a hefty rehearsal schedule!

The Visitor: (mid-20s): A time-traveling country boy, a singer in blue suede shoes from the 1950s. That’s right — Elvis has entered the building, with his own perspective on the new century. The actor playing The Visitor should use a southern/Elvis-ish accent.
NOTE: The Visitor appears later in the show. He makes a great impression but will not have a hefty rehearsal schedule!