Book by Sandy Rustin

Director
JOSHUA BEURER

Assistant Director
Kristen Campbell-Lynch

Audition Dates: Monday, July 21 and Tuesday, July 22, 2025
Auditions begin at 7:00 p.m. The registration will run from 6:30 – 7:30 p.m.

Performances: September 12-14, 19–21, & 26–28, 2025
Fridays and Saturdays at 8:00 p.m., Sundays at 2:30 p.m.

Auditions will be held off-site at Park Place Banquet located at 23400 Park St. Dearborn, MI 48124.

Audition form
Conflict Calendar
Scene Readings 

You must complete the audition form and conflict calendar found at www.playersguildofdearborn.org before arriving. Please list all actual and possible conflicts.

This side-splitting romp is an outrageous tale of sex, betrayal and desire as one woman decides to expose her latest affair to both her husband — and to her lover’s wife. The true meaning of fate and faith, identity and infidelity, love and marriage are all called into question as a surprising and hilarious web of secrets unravels in this ridiculously funny romantic comedy.

From the director:
DIVERSITY:
My main objectives are:
1. Finding performers who are capable of making strong, confident comedic choices.
2. Finding a group of performers with undeniably compelling chemistry.
I’m excited to consider performers of all gender identities, racial and ethnic backgrounds, sexual
orientations, body types, ages, and abilities. Energy will sell the idea of these relationships – not
social demographics. So if ANY of these characters speak to you, then I need to see you at these
auditions!
*The age ranges provided are intended to be a general guideline – NOT a hard requirement.
*While actors are encouraged to go for whichever role(s) they most identify with, the gender of the
characters need to be performed as written.

SAFETY:
The Cottage involves many moments of physical intimacy (kissing, passionate touching, etc.) and a
lot of physical comedy (falling, slapping, fainting, etc.). The story also requires the handling of a fake
prop gun. This company’s physical and emotional safety will be a top priority from the time of these
auditions through closing. However, please familiarize yourself with the script as soon as possible to
properly consider whether or not this material is something you’d ultimately be comfortable with.

ACCENTS:
This play will be performed with British accents. I encourage you to audition with your best effort so
that we can get an idea of where we’re starting from.
Most of the characters speak a form of Received Pronunciation. Think standard, posh, “upstairs”
British. Dierdre and Richard both mask their true identities and will need to code switch between
Received Pronunciation and a saltier working-class dialect.

We encourage performers of all races and ethnicities, gender identities, sexualities, abilities, and ages to audition for any role.
The ages listed in the descriptions are the “playing ages” of characters. Actors who fall out of these parameters with respect to their own chronological age may still audition for any role.

SYLVIA:
Married to Clarke / Lover (so she thinks!) to Beau, her brother-in-law / Old flame of Richard
Mid 20s-late 40s; BRITISH RP ACCENT
“A lovely and rash romantic.”
Sylvia is the picture of elegance and glamour (yes, with that extra British “u”). Her romantic idealism
often leaves her frustrated, but she remains hopeful she’ll find her happy ending – be it in the arms
of a man or… somewhere else…
*Must be comfortable performing in negligee/dressing gown

BEAU:
Married to Marjorie / Lover to Dierdre / Yearly paramour to Sylvia, his sister-in-law
Mid 20s-late 40s; BRITISH RP ACCENT
“Perhaps the best-looking man in Britain.”
Beau oozes cynical smarmy charm. His bench may be several ladies deep, but his greatest love is
(of course) himself.
*Begins the show in a dressing robe

MARJORIE:
Married to Beau / Lover of Clarke
Mid 20s-late 40s; BRITISH RP ACCENT
“Eight months pregnant, pragmatic, and a tad spicy.”
Marjorie is unapologetically blunt. After all, why apologize when you’re so ferociously gorgeous?
These lovers’ antics can hardly shake her resolve, but maybe going into labor will?
*Role will be performed wearing a prosthetic pregnancy belly

CLARKE:
Married to Sylvia / Marjorie’s lover (and baby daddy)
Mid 20s-late 40s; BRITISH RP ACCENT
“A distinguish gent with a lover’s spirit.”
Clarke is ever-accommodating to the women who deign to claim him. Is he a fool or perhaps
something a little bit more– NOPE! He’s definitely a fool.

DIERDRE:
Married to Richard / Beau’s mistress
20s-30s; BRITISH RP AND COCKNEY/WORKING-CLASS ACCENT
“An awfully pretty, sometimes wise, nincompoop.”
Dierdre is sweet, gullible, and a fan of the bottle. Her (not so) innocent nature often supplies the
play’s most profound insight.

RICHARD:
Married to Dierdre / First love of Sylvia
30s-40s; WORKING-CLASS / BRITISH RP ACCENT
“A murderous, yet gentle soul.”
We ordered a brutish, jealous (ex-?) husband. And what do we get? A nebbish pharmacist’s son still
holding a flame for his first love.

Other questions regarding the show or auditions may be sent to: pgdcastinggovernor@gmail.com